Kerryanne Margaret Kelly

The Pit of Grief

The day my child died, I fell into the pit of grief. My friends watched me struggle through daily life; waiting for the person I once was to arise from the pit, not realizing 'she' is gone forever.

The pit is full of darkness, heartache and despair; it paralyzes your thoughts, movements and ability to ration. The pit leaves you forever changed, unable to surface the person you once were.

Some of my pre-grief friends gather around the top of the pit, waiting for the old me to appear before their eyes, not understanding what’s taking me so long to emerge. After all, in their eyes, I’ve been in the pit for quite sometime. Yet in my eyes, it seems as if I fell in only yesterday.

Not all of my pre-grief friends are gathered around the top of the pit. Some are helping me with the climb out of the darkness. They climb side by side with me from time to time, but mostly they climb ahead of me, waiting patiently at each plateau. Even with these friends I sometimes wonder if they are also waiting for the pre-grief me to magically appear before their eyes.

Then there are the casual acquaintances, you know the ones who say 'Hi, how are you?' when they really don't care or really want to know. These are the people who sigh in relief, that is my child who died and not theirs. You know ... the 'better them, than me' attitude.

My post-grief friends are the ones who climb with me, side by side, inch by inch, out of the pit of grief. They have no way of comparing the pit climbed to the pre-grief person I once was. You see, they started at the bottom of the pit with me. They are able to reassure me when I need reassurance, rest when I need resting, and encourage me to move forward when I don't have the strength. They have no expectations, no memories and no recollection of how I 'should' be. They want me to get better, to smile more often and find joy in life, but they also accepted the person I’ve become. The 'person' who is emerging from the pit.

Unknown Author

Mary Webb September 3, 2009

KERRYANNE

a loving daughter, a loving mum and a loving sister,at all these you were da bestest 1. you could light up anyones darkest days, you would pick people up when they were down and were usually the 1 doing the clowning around.That was you kerryanne you really went out of your way so i just want to say in our hearts you will always stay. xxxxxxxxx

Keith (Brother) August 25, 2009

love you dear mummy
And i know I'm not here today
But last night while i slept
Sweet angels flew me away

They gave me a beautiful garden
With wings to fly to you
Mummy don't cry i am here
And that's what angels do

I'm happy in my garden mummy
And i want you to smile for me
As now i can watch over you
Just like you watched over me

Send me some lovely flowers
And little gifts for me to play
Don't miss me mummy i love you
And i am here right now today.
Copyright© Sharon wheeler 2007

Antonia King (GTS Friend) August 13, 2009

THE MENTION OF YOUR NAME

Do you make them laugh up their,
Does your smile bring them good cheer?
Do you make the sun shine brighter,
Like you did when you were here?

The very mention of your name,
The memories of your smile,
The little things you said and did,
Are with us all the while.

You meant so very much to us,
There’s nothing left to say,
Except that without you here
There is no perfect day.

For no one knows the heartache,
That lies behind our smiles,
No one knows how many times
We have broken down & cried.

We want to tell you something
So there wont be any doubt,
You're so wonderful to think of,
But so hard to be without...

Jackie Brosovich July 10, 2009

not only were u my sister but u were my best friend aswell alrite we fought like all brothers n sisters do but i never stopped lookin up 2 u n i will always miss u but u will always remain in my heart xxxx

Keith (Brother) June 25, 2009

Watching Dad - by Kay Des Ormeaux

My Dad doesn't know I'm watching him
But I'm watching him just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on his face
At the mention of my name.

He says it sounds like music to his ears
And can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on his face,
When my name is said aloud.

I watch him stumble through each day
As he wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on his face
As he talks of me with his friends.

But there are few who truly understand.
Oh this I've heard him proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on his face.
Will my Dad ever be the same?

I know that his smile can light up a sky,
But I don't see that smile today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on his face,
His blue skies have turned to grey.

Oh, I send to him my warmest hug
With the rays of the morning sun.
Then I won't hear a tear fall on his face,
For I shall erase them one by one.

Yes, my Dad doesn't know I'm watching him,
But I'm watching him just the same.
And if I hear a tear fall on his face
I'll just softly whisper his name.

With love from your heavenly Angel xxx

Joanne Mitchell June 25, 2009

A LETTER FROM HEAVEN

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, 'I welcome you.'

'It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on.

I need you here so badly, you are part of my plan.
There is so much that we can do, to help our mortal man.'

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you.... in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who is in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night....'My day was not in vain.

And now I am contented... that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.'

So if you meet somebody who is sad and low;
Just lend a hand to pick them up, as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go....
from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going....
you're coming here to be with me
FLY HIGH ANGEL FLY
XXXXXX

Irene June 25, 2009

Letter From Heaven
When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you".
Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
(Unknown)

Love Mary xxxx

Mary Thong-Garner June 25, 2009

A Letter From Heaven

To my dearest family, some things I would like to say. But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay. I'm writing this letter from heaven. Here I dwell with God above. Here, there's no more tears of sadness. Here is just eternal love. Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night. That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through, God picked me up and hugged me and he said, " I welcome you, It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone. As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on. I need you here badly, your part of my plan. There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man." God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do. And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you. And when you lie in bed at night, the days chores put to flight. God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night. When you think of my life on earth, all those loving years. Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain. Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain. I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned, If I were to tell you, you would not understand. But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over. I am closer to you now, than I ever was before. There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb, But together we can do it by taking one step at a time. It was always my philosophy and I would like it for you too, That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you. If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain, Then you can say to God at night, " My day was not in vain." And now I am contented that my life was worthwhile. Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile. So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low, Just lend a hand to pick them up, as on your way you go. When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind, I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind. And when it's time for you to go from that body to be free. Remember you're not going... you're coming here to me. By Anon xx Sent With Love xx

Donna Johnson Nee Parr June 25, 2009

so young so beautiful R I P so sorry for your loss

Joan Greenfield June 24, 2009